How to Greive for Someone you Never Knew

I was sitting at a table eating lunch 600 miles from home when I heard the Kobe Bryant had died. This morning all I knew about him was he played basketball and several of my 6th grade students shout out his name with something unexpected happen.

You make a 3? "Kobe!" 

One of your classmates brings random cupcakes to class? "Kobe!"

Your friend asks a girl to mini prom and gets turned down? "Kobe!"


Even knowing next to nothing about the man other than he's famous, he played basketball, he died in a helicopter crash, and his daughter with him the one thing I did know about his death was that it would devastate several of my students and I wouldn't be there to help them through it. I almost immediately picked up my phone and fired off a text to my teacher bestie and my sub.

Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash today. Could you kind of keep an eye on how if at all that effects my kids tomorrow?

Other than that my plan was to by and large ignore it, but then I went on Facebook; the words no fairy tail ever started with...

A lot of teachers were talking about what if anything they should do to address, acknowledge, pay homage to the life and death of Kobe Bryant. The responses were a mixed bag and everyone had their own reasoning to back it up. Lets just say I learned more about various aspects of Kobe Bryant's life than I ever wanted to know.

Then I started getting texts from parents whose kids had been effected and coworkers who were unsure how to address the whole range of reactions they knew they were going to see in their rooms on Monday. I could name at least 2 boys off the top of my head who would be devastated, who according to parent texts already were beside themselves. Then on the other hand, I knew at least 2 other kids who would be next to clueless, perhaps even more so than I was. Add to that a wide range of kids with past traumas, dramatic kids, and kids who would be unsure how to feel about the loss not only of a person but of a commonly used expressive tearm, and I realized that I had to do something to give those who needed an outlet and outlet while respecting those who didn't feel the need to grieve.

So, between conference sessions I created a basketball acrostic poem using the word "baller," which like Kobe is a common term used in my room both as a replacement for cool and to describe someone who plays basketball. After a lot most angsting and debate than should have gone into choosing a graphic for an acrostic poem I settled on basketball faces showing a wide range of emotions.

Baller Acrostic Poems

In the end I intentionally made the prompt very open that students in our basketball centric town can use to express their feelings and opinions about what has happened, basketball, their favorite basketball team, their intramural basketball team, or even their own experiences or love for basketball.


Just being able to tell coworkers and parents that, even from 600 miles away and even though I couldn't physically be there for my students, I had a plan seemed to help, not just them but also me. If you need a resource for next week, a place for those affected to get their feels out while still giving those not affected a way to avoid being forced to talk about feelings they don't have for a man they don't know, here's a link to my Baller Acrostic Poems, which I'm marking as free for the rest of the week to make it easier for any teacher who needs an activity like this to gain access to it.

My Word of the Year

I'm not sure how I feel about this whole word of the year thing, mainly because I'm afraid I'll forget it before I'm able to focus on it.  I saw a post in a fitness group of someone asking how others had decided on their word for 2020, and just like that a word came to me, whether or not I wanted one: balance.

My whole life I've always need to be working, be moving, constantly. In high school I was the one knitting hats while our volleyball coach made our team watch the competition play, and in college I was that group member, the one who would sew regional costumes for our Heifer International presentation. Even as a teacher if I'm not teacher I'm creating projects for my students. 

It used to bother me how people talked about the fact that I always had to be busy like it was a negative. I've come to understand that isn't a bad thing. It's made a lot of things in my life possible. It's helped me build a career, a reputation, a home, and a side business that has helped my husband and I have 3 temporary children in our lives. It's made me the sort of teacher, friend, and temporary parent that brings light to the lives of those I care about.

However, that only works if I balance my drive; if I apply it to the different parts of my life in equal measure: health, work, business, hobbies, and family. 

Maybe now I'll be able to remember my word the whole year through. I'd say something lofty like "I'll use this blog to hold myself accountable through weekly check-ins," but that's a little too lofty.